Is Fear Holding You Back?
A few weeks ago I was working non stop on a project and I hadn't gone out into the world much other than grocery shopping or spending some quiet time at the river. So I hadn't seen many people or been on social media much either. I don’t watch the news anymore (anything significant is usually on social media anyways) because it’s always so negative and toxic. So as I had been dedicating the majority of my time to this project I was working on, I was kinda out of touch with “the world”. It had also been raining and storming a lot too so staying indoors was easier.
One evening I went to an organic food store and was casually doing my shopping when I overheard the cashier and a customer talking about the damages done by the storm the day before.
The words they used and their tone of voice really inspired fear and lured me into the fearful thoughts too. It was getting darker by the minute outside from the storm clouds rolling in yet again and rain starting to fall so the atmosphere was quite dark and did not encourage positive thinking.
And then as my brain started down the survival spiral led by fear - I asked myself: “Are you in danger? Is your home flooded? Are your vines or crops ruined?” And I realized how ridiculous I was being. I should also mention that my husband wasn't home that week and I was all alone at the house with our cat. A couple days before, my sweet mother-in-law sent me a text telling me that if I was scared to stay home alone with all this crazy weather I could come to their house for awhile - she is the best! It was really sweet of her but I am not at all that girl who is afraid to be alone in the house. Sure, at night I sometimes lock the door when I think about it but not always!
I didn’t grow up afraid of everything and I have always taken risks. Whether it was jumping from rock to rock at Fires Creek as a child or leaving the country to live in France for a year as an au pair with a family I didn’t know when I was 19. And I only spoke five words of French. Or going to London by myself for the weekend to see the Royal Wedding and roaming the streets and seeing the sights by myself. Or going to summer camp at 7 years old for a week and not blinking an eye. Or getting up in front of all my peers at that same summer camp and playing guitar with the adults.
My life has been a crazy one and I am so fortunate to have had parents that pushed/encouraged me out of my comfort zone because that has enabled me to have some amazing adventures. It has very clearly affected my adult life and I am very grateful for the privilege of not having to be afraid.
Do you feel fear and take risks anyway? Do you consider yourself more cautious and wise?
I am in no way saying that rushing forward into life without a care for your safety is the way to go - and I’ve of course had a few scrapes or close calls in my life! But what I’m getting at is that often we live our lives letting fear guide our next steps. We are afraid of so many things and I think that more often than not, the fear is taught or shared. Talk about a contagious virus - fear prevents true living so much more than we realize.
Stop and think about something you have wanted to do or considered but fear got in the way. Where did that fear come from? Was it internal or external? Your own self talk or others warning you that you could regret it for any number of reasons?
We live in a world that runs on two things I’d venture to say: money and fear. How many decisions do we make per day that are based on fear? How many decisions do we make based on money (usually a lack thereof)? How do we stop this cycle?
When I realized that I had nothing to be afraid of when I overheard those two women talking in the store, I told myself “okay, I will take note of the possibility of flooding. But I refuse to let fear take control of my mind and I will not dwell on what has not happened. I choose to look at the joy and light in my life.”
And I’m not saying that’s it’s always as easy as that. There have been times in my life when I’ve been terrified and I didn’t choose to let go of that fear. I let it guide my decisions and I made mistakes. Sometimes it was subconsciously like the time I was “fake kidnapped” during a training and suffered from PTSD after that experience (a story for another time).
What we can all put into practice is choosing life, hope, and courage over fear. It’s a choice - a decision we make. And sometimes even when we choose to not let fear rule our lives it’s still terrifying! Choosing hope and having courage doesn’t mean the fear evaporates instantaneously. It means that we face it head on and don’t let it dictate how we live our lives.
This week I want to encourage all of us to choose life - do what terrifies you and what you’ve been hesitating to do. Just move forward and take note of the fear. There is nothing wrong with being cautious or careful. Fear is a survival mechanism and it’s normal to have some healthy fear. It’s when it becomes imbalanced that it begins to take over our lives and we are unable to live to our fullest potential.
But we can change that through taking hold of courage and letting it guide us.
This is your week to let go of fear and take a leap of faith!
✌ Caroline
Published: 11/06/2021
